Thursday, April 26, 2007

My Life So Far

2007 has already become a banner year. Looking back, I am proud and amazed of everything my hubby and I have accomplished. I enjoyed the process, but we are reaching for even bigger goals and the accompanying lifestyle.

I've imagined that magical life many times--both of us working from home, traveling, decorating my house to perfection, Hayden being involved in all the activities he desires, cashing in on my talents. I still want that life, but the pursuit has been dizzying. I am still doing Southern Living at HOME and making a half-hearted attempt to get business. I'm working out now and will be traveling back to Washington to see my sister, friends, and family.

There has also been a subtle shift in my attitude. I am making peace with my life as it is instead of yearning for the other. I've taken on the challenges of vice president of my son's school's PTA which adds an element of change and a sense of pride to my day. I am starting to gently landscape the flowerbeds to give it more curb appeal. Small changes to my living room and bedroom have made my downtime more restorative. With my clean kitchen, I find that cooking is enjoyable. I drive a little further to shop at a grocery store I really like instead of complaining that the closest one does not have the necessary ingredients. I read more to Pookiebear and spend less time on the computer. I am committed to living in this, the present, with a sense of wonder and enjoyment and gratitude.

Not that I don't want the life of my dreams. I still want to be a well-respected contributor of something. I'd like to work out of my house that overlooks the pool and container gardens. But I think that, paramount in the quest is the ability to fully appreciate this life when it comes to fruition. This is not a quality I can hope for when the time comes; I must cultivate it now. Maybe this means that I take the scenic route instead of the direct path to my dreams.

That day will come. Until then, I'll take quiet joy in sowing the seeds.

Friday, April 20, 2007

My Kid Can Kick Your Kid's Ass

I have recently noticed a competition amongst certain mothers, something I thought was reserved for high school girls and professional baseball teams (welcome to Los Angeles, I guess). I have quickly to add that none of my close friends are included in this because the display of this edge immediately eliminates the competitor from my circle. I am talking about mothers who are endlessly blurting out how much their child sleeps, how early it started to walk, how it's reading and not even in kindergarten, how high it can count... and these boasts are always hidden as worried questions, "I don't know if this is normal ha ha but little Precious is already spelling four syllable words. Should I take her to the doctor?" My ass. Normally little Precious is a chubby blob with a boob in her mouth on demand (at 4).

A few months ago I had no idea that this was a competition - and apart from the inevitable, "I'm so glad Pookybear doesn't look like THAT", I had nothing to say on the very private matter of how ugly most little kids truly are... but I realize now I was sadly deluded. In fact, I've noticed some Moms being competitive about everything from the birth to the length of their child's fingers.

Having had what is accepted by everyone except me as an easy birth, it would be terribly bad form for me to go on about it and those of my friends who've had genuinely awful births speak about them very little - however there are those out there for whom every contraction was THE WORST EVER and every stitch was AT LEAST TEN and every pound of baby was doubled because I'm SO PETITE. It's inevitably those same women who go on to talk about how their five-year-old Precious is speaking full sentences and going off to college and, "Oh dear is Pookybear really not able to count to 100? Super Baby is doing division and cooking his own meals and he's half Pookybear's age.

It seems to me that those Moms are the same ones that run to the doctor's office for a hang nail which always makes me think they're over reactive nutjobs. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying, 'If Precious is so perfect, why are you always running to the pediatrician?' Because... well...perhaps secretly I am worried that they are right and there is something I am not doing with Pookybear not being able to tell an upper case A from a lower case p or not sleeping enough at night or being overly strong-willed.

It's really strenuous, this competition and even though I genuinely do not care if Pookybear can do a cartwheel before any of his peers, I do find myself being glad he doesn't have a pig nose, or a huge birthmark - or looking at other kids and their tennis shoes and feeling superior about Pookybear's high tops. In fact, I can't see the point in being competitive about anything. I mean, Pookybear is doing fine. He was rolling over from the day he was born. He causes people to comment on how cute he is wherever we go, he has an amazing personality, we had a wonderful birth, he stopped cold turkey on a bottle at 12 months and he can put together puzzles for ages older than his. To be honest in fact I think he has his sights on running for president... even at his age he already knows more than our current one does.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Reminder of February 1995

Until last week, the spotlight on school violence had faded. Obviously the problem hasn't.

The problem first moved into the media spotlight in 1995 when Barry Loukaitas shot and killed one teacher, two classmates, and wounded two more at Frontier Junior High in Moses Lake, Washington, the town in which I grew up and where most of my family remains. The media spotlight faded following the Columbine High School shooting spree that was the impetus for youth safety summits nation-wide and new initiatives and legislation to "address the problem of youth violence." We could all sigh a collective sigh of relief ... after all, the government was "on the job", the problem was being addressed, the behavioral "experts" were being called in, solutions were being found, the problem was being taken care of.
The Moses Lake School District was involved in the Virtuous Reality Program. Student were among the first to receive a full dose of "fuzzy" education wherein social and life-related issues became the center of real-life learning experience in the classroom where conflict
resolution and peer mediation were touted as the way to settle differences yet the "Barry Loukaitas" of the world seemed to have slipped through the cracks.
Following each tragedy, the media focus came to bear on the parents ... Loukaitas' parents were going through a divorce, there were domestic violence issues. In each instance, the media spotlight rested on the parents, the family, with school personnel wringing their hands and asking "why".
Why, indeed? While some of the blame certainly rests on parents who have largely abandoned their responsibilities as parents in the raising of their children and allowed themselves to be bullied by the government whose reasons for doing so are self-serving and not in the best interests of the child, the blame also falls on many others.

Following the incident at Moses Lake, the public asked for more "conflict resolution" and "peer mediation" training in schools. What a crock! Conflict resolution and peer mediation, contrary to what parents have been led to believe, are not about right and wrong, they are about "unifying perceptions" ... no right, no wrong, just consensus thought.
Who wins in such a situation -- the child who is being bullied, who has a more reserved personality, or the bully who has a more aggressive and outgoing personality, who has perfected techniques to get others to agree with him? The bully, of course, which means under conflict resolution and peer mediation, the individual with the more dominant personality will emerge the leader, the one to be agreed with without consideration for whether his actions are right or wrong.
This results in unresolved issues for the child being bullied, unresolved issues that affect the child's self-worth, interaction with others, his perception of the world and his place in that world. In short, it produces an angry child who sees his survival in terms of self-preservation.
This is but one piece of the pie. Another piece has to do with the focus of education under education reform. The focus is no longer the teaching of knowledge, of facts, with the child being taught to use the scope of his knowledge to formulate a reasoned, thought-out conclusion. The focus of education, under education reform, is to alter the child's behavior which may necessitate altering the child's belief system in order that the child may demonstrate the wanted attributes: teamwork, critical thinking, making decisions, communication, adapting to change and understanding. And how parents may believe these terms to be defined, and their reality under implementation are not the same.
In short children are being psychologically brainwashed in classrooms by teachers who have neither the training, the experience, the license, nor the clinical setting necessary to do this properly and in such manner that it does not damage the child's normal brain function. The result can be a child poised to go off the "deep end", whose brain function hovers at the edge of oblivion, who becomes mentally unstable.

And until the public recognize and deal with this, juvenile violence is going to continue to increase. The problem has not been solved by government. As with so many things, the problem has been used by the government to further its agenda, which is not necessarily in the best interests of the American people or American society. Under a system where "all" really does mean "all", the margin of error, i.e., the number of children adversely affected by brainwashing, is acceptable in attaining the goal.

Yes, I know the most recent incident at Virginia Tech. involved a young adult and not a child however it is noted that there was evidence that this person was disturbed yet nothing was done to help him. As they say, "a little intervention is worth a pound of cure".
And a sidebar in reference to our most recent casualty. The Korean community is getting some backlash with this tragedy. When did this become a race issue? When Andrea Yates killed her own children, did we all go on a rampage against all moms worried that they might all drown their children? Give me a break!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Phenomenon of Network Marketing Ignorance

For the past 1 1/2 years I have been a part of a multi-level marketing business. Here is what I have learned. 1) I despise bugging my friends, my family and people who are probably just praying I won't bring up my business opportunity or ask them to host a party. 2) I have wished that I could carry on a conversation without constantly thinking of ways to try to recruit them in the back of my mind. 3) I am sick of my upline telling me to "just do more of it" when I don't know what I am suppose to be doing more of. I need something more concrete and helpful than the standard "do more of it" and "you just got to believe" advice.

Let me throw some numbers at you to help you understand the situation.
  • According to the annual reports of many MLM companies , along with research done by numerous tax preparation companies, only 1-2% of network marketers earn a substantial income.
  • Similar studies indicate that 97% of network marketers fail. To be more specific, 97% of network marketers never reach a positive cashflow in their business.
  • 70% of network markets end up dropping out within 3 months of joining an opportunity.

I began my network marketing career twice. First about 1 1/2 years ago when I had spent the past two years cleaning rich peoples houses and again just after moving to Los Angeles.

After the big move, I had a very strong reason to succeed. My big "why" as they call it, was because I didn't want to compromise work for my family and this would provide the balance that I needed.

When I got serious, I went on a knowledge trek. I read books, I listened to audio, I subscribed to e-newsletters, I found meetings in my area, I attended training. I milked my upline for all the wisdom and advice they could give me. I did everything I was told.

I made my "list of 100"...contacted everyone on it...set up meetings...passed out cards and catalogs...did home parties...prospected everyone I met....joined groups so I could prospect some more....

I have been exasperated and frustrated with my business. I don't understand why it is so hard, or why it isn't working for me.

I haven't made a profit. I am tired of spending money for corporate "training" that has done nothing but pump me up momentarily and talk about how great the company is. I am sick and tired of the monthly meeting and the "fake it till you make it" mentality where everyone puts on a face even though they are not going anywhere. AND, I am fed up with my upline telling me to "just do more of it".

Here is my biggest problem: I have completely exhausted my list of 100 and have nowhere to go. I have bled every last contact dry. If you run out of people to talk to where do you go? Expand your "sphere of influence" by joining social clubs and getting involved in group activities specifically for the purpose of generating leads? Give me a break! Been there.

There are two key things that make multi-level marketing very different from all other ways of making money. And I believe these two factors are the true root cause of all the problems that consultants experience in this business.

1. Network marketing is the only business 'model' that's ever been marketed to the general public on such a massive scale. Think about this. There are huge implications. MLM has been sold to the everyday American on the premise that 'anyone can do this.' There are other businesses opportunities that market in this way, but none have even come close to the size and scope of network marketing.

2. Nowhere will you find a bigger group of people all trying to do something that they don't know anything about. It's amazing really. 13 million people (that's just the U.S.) all trying to run a business and only about 1% of them actually understand sound business principles. You won't find this many clueless people in any other line of work. Except for maybe our government.

The average newbie has almost zero sales skills. That's okay - I'm not putting people down for that or anything. That's just what the situation happens to be. What's not okay is that people are told - 'Hey, no problem. Don't worry about it. You really don't need to have good sales skills to do this business anyway. You really don't need to know anything about marketing either. In fact, forget about qualifying people, forget about the whole benefits vs. features thing, forget about what your prospect really wants... just start talking to people. That's really all there is to it. Start sharing this wonderful business with everyone you know and just like magic, it'll start to grow."

So, right off the bat, people are given the impression that a 2 year old could do this. The little sales training that companies do provide is insulting. Here're some of the problems with the way MLM is taught :


No real, professional training is provided. Training that is provided is old, ineffective and flat out annoying. Consultants are not told the truth about the skills, time, money and resources they will need.
Consultants are taught to sell based on hype. The sales methods in use are 'I' centered vs. 'You' centered. In other words, MLMers resemble the stereotypical salesperson that everyone hates. People are fed one of the most blatant and deceptive lies ever: It's not selling - it's sharing! And of course, the universal answer to everything: "You just need to talk to more people!" What's worse is that companies encourage this by doing it themselves at the massive 'revival' conferences!

I remember when I used to go these inane events. Some superstar director of the company - a gal who everyone looks up to - was running around on stage, sweating up a storm and flailing her arms like he'd been snorting cocaine for the past 2 hours. Consultants are told (directly or indirectly) that the surest way to sales success is to get all riled up and be bubbling over with so much enthusiasm about your opportunity that it will be contagious. People will want to do what you're doing just because you're so bonkers about it. All this really does is add to the 'cult' image that many people label the industry with.

As legendary copywriter John Carlton puts it:

"The effect is like a three-year-old kid pestering you for attention. It's damned annoying in kids, and a huge turn-off in adults. Don't grab my lapels and scream in my face, no matter how blissed-out you are about your product."

Remember Tom Cruise on Oprah not too long ago? Jumping up and down and hollering may show that your passion runs deep... but we all thought he flipped his lid, and were certainly hoping Katie would think twice about hooking up with a nutcase who can't control himself."

Example:

"Hey Nicole, how's it going? So, what are you doing right now? Uh huh, yep, that's great... Saaay, I'm gonna swing by real quick and drop off a video for you to watch about an unparalleled opportunity that's sweeping the nation! Then, since you're obviously going to watch the tape right away - because I can tell you're so excited - and since it's about a 20 minute drive from your place to mine, I'm going to call you immediately when I get home and answer any questions that you're sure to have about the tape. Sound good? Great! I'll be right over!"

These are the kind of antics that give network marketing a bad name.
You know why it's so hard to pick up the phone and call your friend about your Tuesday night meeting? Because she doesn't give a rip about your business! In fact, no one does! They couldn't care less and you know it. They're just listening to be polite. That's why you have to psyche yourself up to do it.

But what about this 'proven' business plan? Haven't other people gotten rich in multi-level marketing using it? You know the whole deal about showing people the plan, inviting them to your meetings, getting referrals... all that good stuff? Listen, building your downline using the whole warm market, 'just-get-'em-to-the-meeting' approach may have worked 40 years ago when Amway was just kicking things off - but not today. People have wised up to these sneaky (and often times deceptive) tactics and have been "cocooning" themselves for years. They're sick of it. No one wants to go to a meeting where everyone is breathing down their neck to get them to sign up.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Magic Mountain Myths

As a season pass holder I want to dispell a few rumors regarding Magic Mountain as well as provide a few tips. Keep in mind I am no expert of the park but I have been going quite regularly so these are just my observations.

My first experience at Magic Mountain was about 5 1/2 years ago. At that time X was just about to be unveiled. I found the park somewhat run down and the Police Sub-Station gave me some red flags. Five years later and I think Magic Mountain is doing pretty well. Since returning in March of this year, there is always one coaster or another closed but if you were to see these extreme coasters - the height, the speed, the loops and twists, you would want to make damn sure that they are being maintained so I am okay with a coaster here and there being closed for servicing. Better that than seeing my body splattered on the tracks below.

The beginning of the year, Magic Mountain has a promotion where if you buy one day you get a season pass that also includes a free childs season pass and a coupon book with friends passes, coupons and discounts. $59.95 sounds like a great deal to me for a years worth of thrills. I do, however, reccommend getting the Extreme Play Pass for an additional $60.00 because it includes parking. With the regular pass, parking is $15.00 each time. Go to the park four times in one year and you have spend $60.00.

Last Friday was the first visit where I have had to stand in line for any length of time (2 1/2 hours for Tatsu) but granted it was Spring Break. I have been told the best days to go are Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday and if you can go when school is in session all the better.

There is still a trash problem as guests are very inconsiderate and throw things anywhere. It is easy to blame the park for poor maintenance but if we all did our part, there wouldn't be a problem to begin with.

As for the rides, here are my favorites:

The Riddler's Revenge: It is the only stand-up roller coaster that I know of. It reaches a speed of 65 mph, goes head-over-heals six times with over a mile of track.

Deja Vu: This is the scariest coaster that I have been on. First, you dangle from a ski-lift style chair as you ascend a 20 story tower. Then you take your first 20 story free-fall into a vertical loop, then a 100 foot butterfly. You then go up the second 20 story tower and do it all over again except backwards.

Goliath: I think Goliath is one of the longer rides. It is 255 feet tall and hits speeds of 85 mph. The ride also includes a 120 foot-long underground tunnel, "butterflies in your stomach" plunges and zero-gravity drops.

Tatsu: Tatsu is awesome because you get the sensation that you are flying with the position of the seats. I reccommend you get an end seat for the full effect. You "fly" at speeds of 62 mph through the park. There are deep plunges, huge spirals and sharp dives simulating a bird (or dragon) in flight.

Viper: Viper holds the record for the world's tallest vertical loop at 140 feet, plus two other loops. Add to that a 40 foot tall corkscrew and a double barrel boomerang turn.

Honorable Mention:

X: I love amusement park rides but I don't like anything that spins or rotates in a circle. If I want the sensation spinning in circles gives me I will go throw down a few cocktails. X lets you ride in prototype seats that spin 360 degrees forwards or backwards. You spin head-over-heals forwards and backwards all the while racing around a coaster track at 76 mph.

As for the Police sub-station I mentioned, I have not seen anything alarming in the park although I did hear a problem once existed. Obviously, the park is doing all it can to combat what problems once persisted.

Friday, April 6, 2007

My Son

This is my son:

Hayden is 4 1/2.

If you can't be kind to my son please don't speak to him.

When you come out of the cafe' to tell Hayden to not touch your precious Plymouth (yes, I said Plymouth - oooh) you scared him. You screamed with your hideous face and spittle.

Why did you yell at Hayden?

Because he was impressed with your car and touched it.

Let's get something clear here. Hayden is my child, if he's in trouble it won't be from you. You may not want fingerprints on your Plymouth but it's likely not the worse that could happen since you park so damn close to the front door.

If you have children I am sure they live in terror by your bombastic tirades. I don't like you enough to offer advice but I do hope you manage to find a friend or two who can put up with your stinky attitude. Maybe you could tone it down...shit, maybe you can drop off the face of the earth.

Correct me if I am wrong but I believe it falls into the category of harassment when you are in a public place and you scream at someone even after they have apologized. He is only 4 and you should be banned from the cafe' as you are a threat to the people who go there.

I've practiced every ounce of restraint possible and have learned a great lesson. Should anything like that ever happen again, I will give you $20.00 for your Plymouth so you can go get a new one.


Monday, April 2, 2007

Green Kids Rule

One great outcome for moving to Los Angeles has been my hightened awareness for social responsibility. Although there are many causes in need of assistance, there are two primary efforts which I have focused my attention: the ethical treatment of animals and environmental protection.

Animal rights is part of my everyday life. When you live by example, you create a certain level of awareness. People I have never discussed animal rights or veganism with, are adopting vegetarian habits because they see it.

Farm animals are complex and unique. They are as capable of feeling pain and frustration, joy and fear, just as those dogs and cats we welcome into our families. Yet industrialized agriculture treats them merely as eggs, meat, and milk-producing machines, instead of the living and sensitive beings they are.

Supporting your environment is a win-win proposition. You feel better when you take action to help our Earth, and the planet benefits, too. You'd have to travel far and wide to find a soul who says they want to trash our Earth. But unknowingly, people who sink their teeth into a juicy burger are harming the environment. Consider these two:
  • On average, feeding a meat eater requires 3.25 acres of agricultural land each year. In contrast, a vegan needs just one-sixth of an acre
  • More than 4,000 gallons of water are needed to produce a single day's worth of food for the typcial meat eater. A vegan requires 300 gallons.

Getting an early start on a healthy and active lifestyle is an important advantage to going "green". Here are some delicious and healthy alternatives to kid cuisine - oh, and Bessie will thank you!

Skinny Burritos - Put 1/2 c. beans (black or pinto), two heaping tablespoons brown rice, salsa and sliced avocado, across the bottom two inches of a whole-wheat tortilla. Roll up and don´t worry about tucking in the ends, it´s fun this way. They should be no more than 2 inches in diameter (skinny!).

Are you puddin´ me on? Without gelatin! In blender put 1 box silken tofu, 1 large banana, 2 tablespoons maple syrup or agave sweetener, 1 cup vanilla rice milk or soymilk. Blend. Add a little more rice or soymilk if needed for desired consistency and you can vary amount (more or less) of sweetener as well. Serve in cute cups.

Edamame - Pronounced kind of like "and-your-mommy," are steamed green soybeans. Fun to eat right out of the pod, just steam and toss with a little sea salt. You can also find dried edamame at Trader Joe's.


Salads with Crunchies – Chop all kinds of veggies, serve with a basic oil and vinegar dressing (1 part olive oil to 3 parts vinegar, salt and pepper to taste). Top with choices like roasted soynuts, shelled sunflower seeds, toasted sesame seeds, chopped roasted almonds, crunchy corn nuts or even popped popcorn! Fun!


Almond Butter Apple Dip – In a small bowl put 1 cup almond butter, 2 TB. maple syrup and 1/2 cup warm water and whisk together. Arrange sliced apples around bowl with the dip and watch it disappear. Good without the extra sweetener as well.

More healthy and kid friendly recipes will be coming soon!

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Easter is NEXT Sunday!

Shows how much I pay attention. Honey Butt and I thought this weekend was Easter so last night we were up putting together a Hot Wheels trike, Easter Basket and filling plastic eggs with candy and hiding them around the house. It wasn't until I had gone to the store, well after the festivities at our house, did I realize we were a week early. Thankfully, Hayden is only 4 and with Spring Break just beginning he will be none the wiser.

I got to say though, we were pretty convincing. My sister even called this morning to ask if today was Easter and to talk to her nephew and wish him a happy day. Hmmm? Maybe I can talk her into getting me my Christmas present in July?